But It'll Scare All My Garden Gnomes Away!: Super Mario Piranha Plant Lawn Ornament.

DeviantARTist Kalupsa went and made an incredibly detailed (and frightening) Super Mario Piranha Plant lawn ornament out of modeling clay. And I think we can all agree, it's scary as shit. I sure as hell wouldn't water it, if you know what I mean. I'm talking about try to piss on it. NOT a good idea.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a video of how it was made.

Source: Geekologie.com

Microsoft's Questionable Photoshop Job.

These pictures come from Microsoft's Business Productivity websites. The top picture is from the US version, and the bottom is from Poland's. Apparently Poland isn't as hip to diversity as other parts of the world. Which reminds me, how many Polish people it takes to Photoshop a black man into a white one? Poles using computers -- BWAHAHAHAHA!

US Website
and
Polish Website

Thanks to Curtis, Norman, Lewis, Chrissy Poopy Pants McBacon Lover, draw and jawn, who once Photoshopped themselves into a picture of Dora the Explorer and Bob the Builder so they could pretend they have celebrity friends.

Source: Geekologie.com

Fail: How Not To Use An Automatic Door.

This is a video of an alleged Pakistani engineering student failing to use an automatic door correctly (read: with his face). You just have to see it to believe it. God only knows how he treats escalators.

Source: Geekologie.com

Blew Out My Flip Flop, Stepped On A Pop Top, Decided To Make A Dragon.

This is a dragon made entirely out of pop-tops. NOT POP-TARTS. Soda can pull tabs or whatever you want to call them. Pretty impressive, no? It think it would look great in the curio cabinet next to my novelty shot glass and improvised bong collections.

Banzaaaai!! Another little crazy stuff! I finally finished this dragon sculpture. It took me forever. I used pop tabs all the way from the tip of nose to the tip of tail except for whisker. I wanted to count it but again it'll take me forever to count lol. I glued them together with ordinary epoxy or cold-weld compound type of epoxy. this guy's about 14 inches long and 8 inches tall. By the way i want this to be called 神魂龍　(shinkonryuu) which inhabits the spirit of a person, where they obtain the necessary energy to live. When a person dies they move to a new spirit.
Now I hate to get all metaphysical on you, but is there any way to re-up on shinkonryuu life energy? I'm feeling pretty drained and the tiger penis tea did not work. HELP, NEED MORE DRAGON JUICE PRONTO.

Thanks to shameema, who once made a dragon out of bottle tops but I pulled its tail off to play caps. I SAID I WAS SORRY.

Source: Geekologie.com

Cartoons The Way They Should Have Been.

James Cauty created a work entitled Splatter that features the cartoons from your childhood (or mine at least) the way they should have been: bloody (two blood posts in a row -- body fluids FTW!).

Pop artist James Cauty's work Splatter repurposes classic Warner Bros. and Hanna-Barbera cartoons and gives them a Sin City-style blood spatter makeover, "presenting the viewer with unrelenting acts of bloody, cartoon violence, which, in cartoon law, ultimately cannot cause fatal injury."
Great, this is just great. Like we don't have enough problems with today's youth already. Namely: spelling. Seriously, they can't do it -- and I, for one, blame texting. And Grand Theft Auto.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a video of the violence in progress. Then punch your roommate in the face and blame it on the cartoon.

Source: Geekologie.com

Gruesome: Billboards Bleed When It Rains.

An ad agency in New Zealand made a series of billboards that remind drivers to slow down and "drive to the conditions" during the rainy season. The billboards, which feature a young person's face, start bleeding whenever it rains.

"The advertising agency that came up with the sign says the goal was to reduce the road toll by creating maximum awareness through unease."

Unease is right, I can barely look at my monitor, let alone the road. HOLY SHIT I'M DRIVING.

Thanks to towhee, who just pulls over and makes out whenever it rains. Oooh la la.

Source: Geekologie.com

I'd Live There: Amazing Papercraft Castle.

This is a castle made entirely of paper. And I think we can all agree: it's pretty much the big bad wolf's wet dream-home.

I had the immense opportunity to see this wonderful paper craft art installation by a genius of the name of Wataru Itou, a young student of a major art university here in Tokyo. The installation is hand made over four years of hard work, complete with electrical lights and a moving train, all made of paper!
Normally when I see something this all I can think about is wanting to burn it. But not in this case, it's just too beautiful. Huh? What do you mean what's behind my back? Oh, these? Just some fireworks.

Thanks to shameema, who could blow that down like a house made of straw.

Source: Geekologie.com

Still A Virgin: Sale Of Purity Falls Through.

Remember that 22-year old chick that was auctioning off her virginity? Well the winning $3.8 million was placed by an Australian real estate mogul. Unfortunately, he's bailing out of the deal. Why? His wife won't let him do it!

Natalie Dylan (not her real name) admitted the deal had fallen through.

Last week, she got a phone call from the rogue Romeo, a 38-year-old Australian real-estate businessman, who said he had to back out.

"I told him to go back into marriage therapy," sniped Dylan.

The Aussie cad then sheepishly asked for his $250,000 deposit back. Dylan said no hard feelings; it would be returned.

That's just like a wife to go and not let her husband bang some 22-year old virgin. I swear, women.

Thanks to 42 y/o undead warlock, who doesn't have to pay for sex because he creates busty nymphs with his undead warlock powers. Oh oh, make me one!

Source: Geekologie.com

Gross!: Man Grows Small Fir Tree In Lung.

Apparently some guy was huffing pinecones when he accidentally snorted a bud into his lungs, where it grew into a little tree. Please note: man was not actually snorting pinecones, I just made that up for the sake of providing you with the highest quality investigative journalism. Also, I don't know know if you could tell or not, but I made that graphic using Photoshop. Elite skills: I'm full of them. But hopefully, not evergreens.

Artyom Sidorkin, came to a hospital in the city of Izhevsk in Central Russia last week, complaining that he was experiencing chest pain and coughing up blood.

After submitting to an X-ray the doctors saw a lump in the patient's lung. After a biopsying the lump the doctors pulled out a 5 centimeter fir tree branch out of his lung, complete with needles.


Sick! At least he didn't swallow it though. Because one time I swallowed a pumpkin seed and then several months later pissed a jack-o-lantern, complete with cut-out face and candle. Boy did I feel 8 pounds lighter!

Hit the jump for a graphic shot of the tree and partial lung after removal. NOT recommended for lunch viewing.
Source: Geekologie.com

Wow: Minas Tirith Recreated In Matchsticks.

Minas Tirith, the City of Kings from J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord Of The Rings trilogy is painstakingly being recreated using matchsticks by wood-loving Patrick Acton. The project started in March, 2007, and Patrick expects to be completed by late 2010. Good looking, Pat, say -- mind if I do a j? *whoosh* Oh, uh-oh.

Source: Geekologie.com

This Is What A Billion Dollars Looks Like.

Get a good look folks, because you're sure as hell never gonna see it in real life.

One Billion Dollar is stacked on 12 standard pallets, altogether 10 million 100 USD notes. One Billion Dollar is not so much about what you see but what you could do or not do with the money. Besides, this is the most expensive piece of art ever made.