Why Parents Shouldn't Be On Facebook. Alternatively: Your Mom Just Friended Me.

This is a excerpt from a Facebook conversation (hit the jump to read the rest) between some crazy old lady and who she believes to be her son, but isn't. I have no idea whether it's fake or not (I don't think it is), but that's not the point. The point is that this a perfect example of why older parents shouldn't be allowed to operate computers (or motor vehicles, unless they're driving me to the mall with my friends). And I'm not just saying that because my stepfather walked in to use the computer during one of my more risque webcam shows, but he did. And started dancing. Yeah, it was awkward. But only in the beginning.Thanks to Joemo, who defriended his own mom because he was tired of getting her Farmville and Gang Wars updates.

Source: Geekologie.com

How Not To Private Message On Facebook.

This is 41-year old idiot moron Tracy T-something trying to send lover Michael a Facebook message expressing how much she loved him recently railing her but instead posting the note ON HER OWN WALL (admit it, we've been there). Wow, Tracy, what are you doing with this Michael character anyway if you're engaged? And what the hell is a permanent invitation to "the-love-cave-between-my-legs?" Don't get me wrong, I love camping with bears as much as the next guy, BUT I'M NOT MOVING INTO THE CAVE. I would, however, start a fire in there and grill some mammoth.

Thanks to Lee and Lisa, who understand the internet is magic but can still send a message where they mean to.

Source: Geekologie.com

I Do BLAAAHHH!: First Weightless Wedding.

Erin Finnegan and Noah Fulmor got married over the weekend while hovering weightlessly in the back of an airplane. Allegedly it's the first weightless wedding, provided if you don't count the time I married alien in outerspace (read: I was probed, hard).

To recreate the weightless experience without going into space, the plane executed parabolic flight maneuvers, climbing sharply and descending several times during the one-hour flight.
Inside the 90-foot-long padded "floating zone," the ceremony was accomplished with a lot of bumping and fumbling, as bride and groom, guests and witnesses alike tried to coordinate their movements in a microgravity environment.


Nice. And in the famous words of Billy Idol, "It's a nice day for a weightless wedding, it's a nice day to...horf again, BLAAAH!"

Thanks to Pat, who once made out with a stewardess to score free peanuts.
Source: Geekologie.com

Deter Suitors: Fake Engagement Ring Kit.

Ms. Taken is a fake engagement ring that comes in a discreet keychain holder so you can secretly slide it on before some dingdong at the bar tries to talk to you about how much money he makes being a giant effing loser. It costs $50 and I just bought them out. No more fooling me, ladies! Yeah, one time a chick tried to tell me she was engaged with a Ring-Pop on. I asked her who was she engaged to, Candyman? Then she said she'd summon him if I didn't leave so I ran home crying and broke all my mirrors. You know, because I'd hate to have to WHIP HIS WILLY WONKA ASS.

Source: Geekologie.com

Still A Virgin: Sale Of Purity Falls Through.

Remember that 22-year old chick that was auctioning off her virginity? Well the winning $3.8 million was placed by an Australian real estate mogul. Unfortunately, he's bailing out of the deal. Why? His wife won't let him do it!

Natalie Dylan (not her real name) admitted the deal had fallen through.

Last week, she got a phone call from the rogue Romeo, a 38-year-old Australian real-estate businessman, who said he had to back out.

"I told him to go back into marriage therapy," sniped Dylan.

The Aussie cad then sheepishly asked for his $250,000 deposit back. Dylan said no hard feelings; it would be returned.

That's just like a wife to go and not let her husband bang some 22-year old virgin. I swear, women.

Thanks to 42 y/o undead warlock, who doesn't have to pay for sex because he creates busty nymphs with his undead warlock powers. Oh oh, make me one!

Source: Geekologie.com

Couple Marries Dressed As Shrek & Fiona.

In a story that nearly set my cockles ablaze, an English couple recently got married dressed as Shrek and Princess Fiona. Awwwwwww.

Hospice nurse Christine England, 40, married her fiance Keith, 44, in full costume and make-up in front of 100 guests who were also in fancy dress.

The new Mr and Mrs Green (yes, really), of Barnstaple, Devon, had spent three hours having their make-up done before walking down the aisle.

Christine said: 'The idea just came to me. I knew what we would go as because Keith looks just like Shrek.


Wow, way to kick a man in the balls, Christine. You might as well have gone as Andy Carmichael and asked him to go as Sloth. Goonies FTW! Do you, sir, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? "HEY YOOOU GUUUUUYS!"
Source: Geekologie.com

Finally, Some Flowcharts I Can Understand: Thank God I'm A Man (And Love Booze)

These are flowcharts made by some beer manufacturer that explain, in simple detail, why you should be thankful you're a man. Because apparently being a woman involves much more complicated decisions.
And some people say that women are not complicated, yeah right!