Video: 100 Youtube "Greatest Hits" In 3:24.

This is a video montage of 100 of Youtube's "greatest hits" in a scant 3:24. I recognized most of them, but there were some I hadn't seen before. And those, my friends, were the sucky ones.

NOTE: It's best to stop after the Leroy Jenkins clip. It's all downhill from there.

Thanks to Harry, who was responsible for at least 10 of Redtube's greatest hits.

Source: Geekologie.com

Reptilian Crime Fighters: Spiderman Lizards.

Apparently Spiderman fans are getting their radioactive panties in a bunch over Agamas, lizards with a coloration that resembles that of the superhero. Best reason ever to get a pet? Probably not.

''The vivid red-and-blue colouring is almost uncannily like that of the Marvel superhero, and comic book fans have been flocking to exotic pet shops to snap them up.

Native to Kenya, the rock agama (Agama mwanzae) is unable to throw webs, but can change colour - the brightly coloured males will change brown at night or if frightened. They can also run on their hind legs, and - like Spidey - can scale vertical walls.''

As many of you may know, I was an amateur herpetologist in a past life. So I like lizards. BUT NOT TROUSER SNAKES! Not speaking of which, did I ever tell you about the time I put a poison dart frog in my mouth? Because that was the end of that life. The time after I tried stealing a grizzly bear's cub!

Thanks to DemonSpawn, who KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON!

Source: Geekologie.com

He's Eating My Ass!: Pac-Man Gaming Chair.

This is a Pac-Man gaming chair. The best I can tell it's just a computer image, rendering(!) it fake, but it's cool enough for someone to make reality IMHO. And speaking of MHO: they're out there. I'm talking aliens, fool! Anyway, this Pac-Man chair feeds off pocket lint and loose change but won't hesitate to eat your cat if you go out of town for a long weekend without at least laying out some treats. And by treats I mean dingleberries. Sick, I know, but he loves those things.

Thanks to Serenity Rose, who had a Frogger chair but sold it when it kept trying to lick her leg.

Source: Geekologie.com

Holy: Farmer Grows Buddah Shaped Pears.

In this week's "growing things that look like other things" news, a Chinese farmer has learned how to grow Buddah shaped pears. But are they sacrilegious to eat?

Hao Xianzhang, a local famer, spent six years to perfect the process by growing the pears inside moulds, local media reported. The pears cost around 50 yuan (7.32 USD) each.

Pfft, that's nothing. One time I grew an apple that looked like I cut a hole in it and smoked weed out of it. BECAUSE I DID. Who has the green thumb now, bitches?!

Thanks to jessica, who once grew a Jesus shaped orange.

Source: Geekologie.com

Military Experimenting With Airless Tires.

We've known about airless tires for a while now here on Geekologie, but now the US military is getting involved and testing them sums of beaches out on some of their vehicles. But not their tanks -- they don't have any air to begin with, silly!

The advantages of airless tires are obvious: they can't be punctured and they never go flat. But it clearly takes a lot of science to get the proper material that can stand up to the pressure of a multi-ton military vehicle sitting on top of it.
Nice, military, but how about some REAL airless tires. I'm talking about hover wheels, bitches! I know that shit exists, we stole the technology from the aliens. GET OUT OF MY HEAD GOVERNMENT! Quick, somebody Reynolds Wrap me, STAT!

Source: Geekologie.com

WTF Is Wrong With You?: Twlight Corn Maze.

This is a Twilight themed corn maze in Utah (a state best known for people forgetting is a state) celebrating the new movie that's coming out later this year that I, for one, can't wait to see (read: I'd rather have ants eat my eyeballs while I'm awake and screaming and a dominatrix hammers at my junk with a meat tenderizer). I just put this up for you ladies out there that are in love with this garbage and know what 'Team Jacob' means. Because I sure as hell don't. *Googling* Holy shit, this teen-wolf character actually sounds pretty cool. NOOOOOOT. High five for the oldschool burn!

Also, haiku contest winners will be announced later tonight (I still have 400 haikus left to read).

Thanks to pstone, who has never run through a cornfield backwards but has been to prison. Similar feelings.

Source: Geekologie.com

About Time!: Glow In The Dark Toilet Paper.

The pinnacle of human achievement: glow in the dark toilet paper. Finally, I can sleep at night...knowing that if I have to get up to go to the bathroom, I at least won't sit in the sink again. Or will I? I probably will. It's like a bidet!

Perfect for power cuts, this groovy glowing loo roll means that if you don't want to wake anyone up in your household by turning on the light, it'll cast its green glow over your bathroom, so you can find your way around.

Neat, but each roll will set you back $8 and change. And, as cool as glowing toilet paper is, I can't imagine you'd want something radioactive so close to your privates. I mean, who wants glowing children? Besides everybody! Which is exactly why I just wrapped my penis in a roll. See -- it looks like a mummy!

Product Site.

Thanks to naas, who doesn't need glowing toilet paper to find his ass.

Source: Geekologie.com

Pen Lets You Draw With Any Color You See.

First of all, thank you all for the kind birthday wishes. I just went through and read them all and that was some seriously sweet shit you all said (I'm so eloquent). I almost cried, but then I wrestled a bear (and won) so that I wouldn't. But seriously -- thanks, I had the best birthday I can remember in a long time. BUT NOW IT'S THE 13TH! And you all know what that means, don't you? International Left Hander's Day! Two days in a row, baby!The Color Picker pen by Jinsu Park is a drawing device that allows you to write in any color you can scan with the pen's color sensor. You just hold the Color Picker up to something, push a button, and PRESTO! it mixes the right amounts of blue, green purple and yellow to make the brown you were looking for. Unfortunately, the Color Picker is currently only conceptual, UNLIKE MY CEREAL PICKER! It's a spoon that, when you think about a certain kind of cereal, fills itself with that kind! I use it to invent new delicious breakfast morsels. *concentrating* Okay, so this one tastes like shit -- you've gotta try it!

Source: Geekologie.com

Batman Would Be Proud Cramped: Guy Builds Mini-Tumbler Out Of Go Kart.

Want your own Batman Tumbler but can't afford to hire Morgan Freeman to build you a full-size one? Well fear not, intrepid crime fighter, because some guy on eBay is selling $30 plans to build one out of a go kart. Of course, if you don't want to pay, I'll tell you how to make one for free.

Step 1: Steal a go kart.
Step 2: Add a bunch of spray painted sheet metal.
Step C: Multiply your chances of getting tetanus and lockjaw by four score.
Step 4: Subtract any street cred you may have accumulated over the years.
Step 5: Divide by Robin. And by divide by I mean have relations with him in the back.
Step 6: Safety first -- make sure to wrap your junk in a costume. I guess then should have been Step 5.
Step G: Get tested.

Source: Geekologie.com

A Long Time Ago In A Restaurant Far, Far Away: Lightsaber Chopsticks.

Why it's taken so long to produce some good looking lightsaber chopsticks is beyond me. I mean, they just make sense. Like wind energy and peeing in the sink, but with a culinary flair. Available in three colors, the $10 sticks are the perfect utensils for devouring tauntaun and Ewok dishes. But don't go trying to eat that shit Yoda fixes on Dagobah! The runs like you're about to be trampled by an AT-AT.

Thanks to naas has too many duplicates and sham, who eat the old fashioned way, through osmosis.

Source: Geekologie.com

Bark Translator Tells What Your Dog Wants.

The Bowlingual Voice bark translator translates a dog's barks into words a human can understand. Words like, "I'm about to pee on the carpet!"

Developed by Takara Tomy, a Japanese toy company, this little gadget is supposed to translate your dog's feelings into words you can understand (while making your dog look like something out of a sci-fi movie). The gadget can tell you if your dog is sad, joyful, alert to danger, needy, happy or frustrated.


The £129 ($215) gadget can be placed on the dog's collar and includes a receiver which would translate the dogs' barks. The translated bark is displayed on the receiver which also plays in audio phrases like 'I feel sad' or 'Leave me alone', the toy will hit the Japanese market on August 27th.

I question how well the device actually works, but what's $215 to pretend you're your Doctor Dolittle? Read: buy a stethoscope and rectal thermometer and call it a day.

Thanks to Trevor, who once had a conversation with a mounted dear head when they were both on peyote.

Source: Geekologie.com

Lamps That Look Like Security Cameras.

The Antrepo 'I'm Not A Security Camera' is a desk lamp in the form factor of a security camera. Set it on the desk or hang it on the wall -- either way you'll think twice before looking at what you and I both know you looked at online while at work. Tsk, tsk. Plus, it might help deter stapler theft. Better than a loaded gun? No, but safer. Remember when you shot yourself in the leg trying to fill up a cup at the water cooler? That was funny. Your blood makes me laugh.

Thanks to Steven, who just booby traps everything instead.

Source: Geekologie.com

Fire Eater: 30th Anniversary Pac-Man Zippos.

Let's face it, Pac-Man and fire go together like virtually anything else and fire: perfectly. And even if you gave up the rock years ago, there's still other stuff to light to light, am I right? Of course I am. Enter these 30th anniversary Pac-Man lighters. Available in three different styles, they'll be available this November for an undisclosed sum of amount. So start saving. In the meantime, start your fires the old fashioned way: by making napalm out of gasoline and Styrofoam AND LIGHTING IT WITH A BULLET. I was a Boyscout, I learned things.

Source: Geekologie.com

Full Size House To Be Built With LEGO Bricks.

James May, co-host of the British Top Gear television series, is going to attempt to build a full size, two story house entirely out of LEGO bricks.

As part of his BBC series James May's Toy Stories, he plans to build a two-storey house in the middle of Denbies Wine Estate in Dorking.

May will be hosting a building day on Saturday, August 1, when members of the public can help him with the challenge.

The millions of bricks came all the way from the Czech Republic. The house will be life-size with a staircase, toilet and shower.

I would live there. And by live there I mean come home drunk, pass out on the floor, and wake up with LEGO marks all over my face. Then maybe some puking action.

Thanks to Kieren, who built an entire planet out of LEGO and then ran through it like a leaf pile.

Source: Geekologie.com

Good Enough To Eat: These GummiLights.

GummiLights are expensive rubber lamps designed to look like Gummi Bears. Unsurprisingly, I tried to eat one. Shocked? I was. I'll be here all week folks, make sure to tip your waitstaff.

These GummiLights are made of a translucent rubber and measure in at 7-inches tall. They're illuminated by brightly glowing LEDs and come in a variety of candy-like colors, including red, orange, yellow, clear, blue, purple and pink. Each one is powered by rechargeable lithium batteries, and can run for about 20 hours on a charge.

A single bear will set you back $125 or you can get a set of 5 for $500. But, if you want something that'll really light up the night, you're gonna need me. I'm so bright my parents call me son (I'm on a roll today, folks!). Also, "little shit" and "a terrible, terrible mistake". Anybody want to adopt a GW? I spoon.

Source: Geekologie.com

Potentially Dangerous: The 120-Zipper Dress.

The 120-Zipper dress from designer Sebastian Errazuriz may or may not actually have 120 zippers (it doesn't), but is cool nonetheless. I mean, I wouldn't wear it, but I've had too many zipping accidents. You see this? Button fly....okay, or possibly me naked. What? SOMETIMES I FORGET WHAT I'M WEARING.

What might be most remarkable about this design is how quickly it can shift from elegant to sexy, a full-length, single-piece dress one could potentially wear to work into a skimpy, short-cut, two-piece number that could put some bikinis to shame. In between there are any number of other options for shortening the top or bottom or even leaving some zippers partly on and partly off.
I'd go out with you if you wore this. Seriously, and I'd even look past your peg-eye and club foot. At least until I left you for a girl in Velcro. It's a cold hard world baby, and my heart's a Sno-Cone machine.

Thanks to Salazar, who wears Velcro shoes, but only because they're faster.

Source: Geekologie.com

I Do BLAAAHHH!: First Weightless Wedding.

Erin Finnegan and Noah Fulmor got married over the weekend while hovering weightlessly in the back of an airplane. Allegedly it's the first weightless wedding, provided if you don't count the time I married alien in outerspace (read: I was probed, hard).

To recreate the weightless experience without going into space, the plane executed parabolic flight maneuvers, climbing sharply and descending several times during the one-hour flight.
Inside the 90-foot-long padded "floating zone," the ceremony was accomplished with a lot of bumping and fumbling, as bride and groom, guests and witnesses alike tried to coordinate their movements in a microgravity environment.


Nice. And in the famous words of Billy Idol, "It's a nice day for a weightless wedding, it's a nice day to...horf again, BLAAAH!"

Thanks to Pat, who once made out with a stewardess to score free peanuts.
Source: Geekologie.com

Blocky: Tetris Pots For Growing Grass.

These are planters in the form of tetrads. They are equally suited for growing shit or use as cereal bowls. And, because I'm a complete slaya', I've even come up with another use: decoration. Did I just blow your mind? No? THEN WHOSE WAS THAT? Quick -- the lights!

Thanks to Julian, who grows his 'grass' in old milk jugs like a normal person.

Source: Geekologie.com

Deter Suitors: Fake Engagement Ring Kit.

Ms. Taken is a fake engagement ring that comes in a discreet keychain holder so you can secretly slide it on before some dingdong at the bar tries to talk to you about how much money he makes being a giant effing loser. It costs $50 and I just bought them out. No more fooling me, ladies! Yeah, one time a chick tried to tell me she was engaged with a Ring-Pop on. I asked her who was she engaged to, Candyman? Then she said she'd summon him if I didn't leave so I ran home crying and broke all my mirrors. You know, because I'd hate to have to WHIP HIS WILLY WONKA ASS.

Source: Geekologie.com

Retro Styling: Cassette Tape Wallets.

These cassette tape wallets from designbloom are wallets made out of old cassette tapes. Pretty clever, but they cost $43. So if you've ever wanted to try making something yourself, now's your chance. Just make me one. With a Def Leppard tape. Bitchin'? BITCHIN'!

Thanks to phil, who keeps his money in his socks BECAUSE HE'S OLDSCHOOL.

Source: Geekologie.com