Slings Let The World Know How You Did It .

This is a series of slings that lets the rest of the world know how you went and broke your arm. And as a guy who's broken his thumb once and arm twice, I've got to admit: it's never stopped me from still doing dumb shit all the time. High-five for never learning lessons! But seriously, now I've got a wonk-arm now with a giant metal plate and screws in it that sends shockwaves up my arm whenever I try to do push-ups. Which is EXACTLY why I don't work out. AND HELL YES I SET OFF AIRPORT METAL DETECTORS! Just like Luke Skywalker -- except I'VE never tried slipping my sister the tongue. Step-sisters don't count!

Thanks to Romeo, whose magnetic personality alone is enough to set off an airport metal detector.

Source: Geekologie.com

*Ring* Hello -- Death?: Novelty Skull Phone.

I honestly thought novelty phones went out of style when people stopped using land lines, but hey, maybe your grandparents want a damn skull phone. That's cool. Just don't let them get on the interwebs lest they hand their life savings over to a Nigerian prince. Anyway, the $25 Thriller Skull Phone from Brando is available in white and metallic copper finishes and has blue LED eyes that light up when the phone is ringing. Sadly, it's not even cordless. WHO THE HELL STILL USES CORDED PHONES? Fun fact: I saw a payphone the other day. Did you know we still had those? Me neither. There was a hooker standing nearby and everything.

Thanks to FDSY and cakey, who make all their calls the old fashioned way: by yelling.

Source: Geekologie.com

Who Needs Ears?: Pierced Glasses.

Born without ears? Lose them in a samurai sword fight? Whatever the case, for those of you who have found yourself both aurally and ocularly challenged, you may want to consider pierced glasses. Pierced glasses are a pair of prescription eyeglasses that stay affixed to your ugly mug via a piercing through the nose. Pretty clever. Not as clever as just having Lasik surgery so you can shoot lasers out of your eyeballs, but hey, laser vision isn't for everyone. And, incidentally, neither are laser-wangs. Go ask The Superficial Writer why he's blind in one eye.

Thanks to Warfaremonkey, who wears a pierced hat and is now limited to the use of his animal brain like Phineas Gage.
Source: Geekologie.com

Gross!: Man Grows Small Fir Tree In Lung.

Apparently some guy was huffing pinecones when he accidentally snorted a bud into his lungs, where it grew into a little tree. Please note: man was not actually snorting pinecones, I just made that up for the sake of providing you with the highest quality investigative journalism. Also, I don't know know if you could tell or not, but I made that graphic using Photoshop. Elite skills: I'm full of them. But hopefully, not evergreens.

Artyom Sidorkin, came to a hospital in the city of Izhevsk in Central Russia last week, complaining that he was experiencing chest pain and coughing up blood.

After submitting to an X-ray the doctors saw a lump in the patient's lung. After a biopsying the lump the doctors pulled out a 5 centimeter fir tree branch out of his lung, complete with needles.


Sick! At least he didn't swallow it though. Because one time I swallowed a pumpkin seed and then several months later pissed a jack-o-lantern, complete with cut-out face and candle. Boy did I feel 8 pounds lighter!

Hit the jump for a graphic shot of the tree and partial lung after removal. NOT recommended for lunch viewing.
Source: Geekologie.com

What's Under The Zipper?: Sackboy Anatomy.

This is another anatomical rendering by Jason Freeney of Sackboy's innards. As you can see, there are guts under that zipper. Of course, I already knew that because I got all stabby on him once when he wouldn't give me his wallet. Yeah, and all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't stitch Sackboy together again. So, let that be a lesson to the rest of you.

Jason Freeney's Website
and
The Anatomy Of A Sackboy [kotaku]

Thanks to Julian, who took one for the team and pointed out Sackboy's genitalia was modeled after his own so I wouldn't have to.

Source: Geekologie.com